Purposeful Addiction


            This is an excerpt from my private self-reflective journal. Hopefully, this passage allows you a glimpse into the mind of a mid twenty millennial just trying to create their own thing through love, passion, and purpose. If you have ever been passionate about something in your life, I’m sure you can relate.  This specific excerpt I wrote during my vacation time in Missouri, on a boat, in the middle of Mark Twain Lake. It felt only fitting I do some writing.


Purposeful Addiction


            As I sit here on Mark Twain Lake, supposedly on vacation, I can think of only one thing: work. How bad is it that a 24 year old can’t stop thinking about their work? Is it even truly a bad thing?

            As a fellow millennial, I am well aware of the stigma that it bears. We don’t want to work, we don’t want to be independent, we live off others, and we have numerous misconceptions of what it is like in the workforce. Like any generalization, it is just that - some truth and some “alternative facts”. Generalizations take the extreme of the extreme and apply it to all. Are these generalizations justified? Perhaps. But, it causes us to overlook those in the middle ground and opposing end of the spectrum of generalizations. Those that lay in the middle are the everyday’ers . The people who go to college, get a steady job, have a nice family, settle down and live the “American Dream”. Those are the people who live their lives how society thinks life should be lived. You know the type, family Costco trips on Sunday and back to work on Monday morning. The type of people that say “Somebody’s got a case of the Monday’s”… On those Mondays they wake up, go to work, come home at 5 and that’s it. They leave their work at work. To them it’s just a job.

            I guess I’m found on the other end of the millennial spectrum. I wake up and think about my job (to me it’s a career), I fall asleep thinking about my job. Thoughts of how I can improve and deliver a better product, streamline not only my income but also results for my clients, and my all time favorite (sarcasm) thought “Am I currently making enough money”. Such a silly thing to think of considering I constantly tell myself it’s not about money. Everyone tells me “Life is more than money.” “Don’t waste your time worrying about money.” It’s a huge recurring theme in The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Book by Bronnie Ware). Yet, I still catch myself thinking and worrying about money.

            Money confuses me every single day of my life. Trust me I still can’t believe, and I celebrate it daily, that I make a living off what I do. However, I’ve noticed two things about money. One, if you don’t make enough, you need more. Two, if you’re making enough, you want more. There is no middle ground on this spectrum.

            Thoughts of my work, race through my head. There is no off switch. I’m on this vacation and I know all of my clients have told me I work so much and deserve to take time. But, that doesn’t help my thought process. I want to deliver the best product out there. Which is even more amazing, because what I do helps people. The better my product, the better people are helped. Maybe that’s my true addiction to this work. Or is this even work? Maybe, this is purpose.

Andrew Shoemaker